BATHROOM BLOG 001 – The Glass House, Pomona, Ca.
The first time I used the bathroom at the Glass House in Pomona, last year, the fire alarm went off at the exact same time as I flushed the toilet, which was unnerving. I think it was just a coincidence, but all the same it was with mild trepidation that I stepped over the threshold again.
There are certain qualities that any good bathroom will possess, especially one in the backstage of a venue. One is a door that locks. Another is a toilet that flushes, and properly stocked soap and paper towel dispensers. The Glass House boasts all of these things, with the added bonus of a washer and dryer, which is a rare thing on the road. I used the dryer after the show and it didn’t seem to burn the building down, so that’s another point in their favour. So the bathroom at the Glass House is doing pretty well so far. Sure, its kind of spartan and it could be a little cleaner, but it doesn’t smell and it works. Which is why the shower facilities stand out so badly.
I don’t know the history of the Glass House, but from looking at the shower I can only conclude that the building was once some kind of torture playground for insane sadists, and whoever renovated it ran out of money before they could finish the bathroom, so they left the shower intact as a twisted tribute to the serial killers of yesteryear. It’s the kind of shower that the people who made those awful Saw movies were trying to approximate. I can’t imagine anyone actually using it to shower; I’d be too busy waiting for the water to run blood red to get clean. The floor is even built on a slant to allow for maximum blood flow into the drain from the poor bastard who was hung from the ceiling by their ankles.
I’ll be awarding each bathroom I review a score out of 10 in five categories, for a final mark out of a possible 50. Lets see how the Glass House stacks up.
Cleanliness: 6/10
Amenities: 8/10
Décor: 5/10
Functionality: 8/10
Not giving me the screaming night terrors for days after use: 0/10
FINAL GRADE: 27/50